Back Cover Synopsis: SHOP TIL' YOU DROP - DEAD! --- It's all at this mall. Mayhem, menace, monsters, two for one terror, and ghosts that don't give the right change. Enter Frank Chase. He's a new kid in town. But he's already got a date and they're meeting at the mall. Might be a big mistake! Maybe the other kids are right and the mall is haunted. Moo-La! Boo-La! Frank doesn't believe in ghosts! He's too smart for that...Move the action to the mall, where suddenly Frank's world turns upside down. Terrified and trapped with ghosts to his left and ghouls to his right, Frank believes now - he believes he's never going to get out alive! Let the buyer beware!
We'll start the blog with the last book in the series, Madness At The Mall. Talk about false advertising! The cover is a poor representation of the actual book, but that is something we will find happens often with the Shivers books. But in this case even the back cover tells lies. Let's set the record straight. There are no creepy skeletons riding down bloody escalators. There are no skeletons period. There aren't even any "ghosts" really. And there definitely aren't any ghouls. When you find out what was happening at the mall you are going to slap yourself with disgust.
We get Frank Chase. He's just moved to California from Massachusetts and he's pretty excited because he's already met a girl that is hot stuff. He lives with his parents and brother. His dad helps plan buildings, which is the whole reason they moved to California. His dad helped work on said mall. His brother is obsessed with a computer game called Animal Pursuit: a game where you control an animal through various mazes and run from predators.
The girl that has caught Frank's eye is named Deana Fields and apparently Frank has been "watching" her since the first day he started school. He finally musters the courage to ask her to a horror movie at the mall's movie theater. Immediately Frank begins hearing that the mall is haunted. Tom, Frank's brother, tells him they built the mall where a pet cemetery used to be and never moved the bodies and now the ghosts of the dead animals haunt the mall. Frank of course thinks this is all silly and doesn't believe it. But he does believe he is going to get lucky that night.
Turns out Frank's parents have to go out that night to a banquet and Frank has to watch his brother. Oh no! How is he supposed to mack it to Deana? He doesn't have her number and doesn't want to stand her up so he brings his brother along after making a deal to give Tom his allowance. They watch a movie called The Revenge Of The Savages, which is apparently very gory. As the movie ends the theater starts shaking and everyone runs to the exit to escape the earthquake. Frank tells Deana they should wait because they could get hurt in the crowd and she pretty much says fuck that and bolts. Frank and his brother head in the opposite direction for the emergency exit and then the trouble starts.
I'm going to break it down for you nice and easy. The following is the "madness" at the mall:
A) Frank and Tom are lost in a hallway and suddenly find themselves in the mall
B) Gates open and close. The candy store is open and Frank gives him permission to steal candy
C) The fountain turns on. They toss in pennies and the pennies melt. The boys decide the fountain is actually acid.
D) They go up an escalator and the steps start moving faster. Tom's shoe gets caught and he pulls his foot out just in time.
E) Frank goes to steal new shoes for his brother. He is bit by "something".
F) They go to a store to use a phone. There's a computer monitor that mocks them with phrases like "911 will not help you".
G) It is then they look at the screen and see a map with themselves on it. Brace yourselves here folks: It turns out the mall is like a real life version of Animal Pursuit! Somehow the mall has plotted against them and the dead animals are attacking!
H) Since Tom loves the game he stays to watch the monitor and warn Frank of any oncoming animals via walkie talkie as he searches for another phone.
I) Frank fights off dogs, dodges mice and snakes and other "deadly" animals. He can't find the phone. He comes back after dodging more animals and sends an e-mail to his dad in hopes of rescue.
J) The boys decide it's not safe in the store anymore. They try to get back to the hallway that lead from the theater. On their way Frank takes a pair of scissors and stabs a cat only to find it doesn't bleed.
K) They become surrounded by animals on all sides when all of a sudden they hear sirens and their dad runs in. And magically the animals disappear and everything is okay!
AND THE BIG TWIST...
Frank wonders if anything really happened at all, or if they only imagined it. As he walks back to the car he feels the scissors in his back pocket and when he pulls them out they have blood all over them. Uh oh!
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FINAL THOUGHTS:This, (aside from #7 The Awful Apple Orchard) was my least favorite of the series. The cover was pretty cool and it sounded like the book might have had promise. But once I learned that this was pretty much Pet Semetary Shopping Mall, I was done. It's a bummer this was how the series ended. I wanted more "bang for my buck" haha retail joke.
COLD, CLAMMY SHIVERS? Sorry, not this time.
